Anyway, all of this was actually leading somewhere. It was to explain my affection and attraction to my unconventional pink Christmas tree. I spotted it right before Christmas last year at Michaels and it gave me the best case of the giggles! I thought about it, walked away, came back, walked away again and then, I just couldn't get it out of my mind and it was making me smile so much, that the next time I went over to where it was, it was mine! It's a little tree, only 3.5 feet tall and kind of skinny and perfect! It really appeals to the quirky side of me!
I didn't have time to set it up last year so it made its debut a few weeks ago. I got all kinds of suggestions as to where I should put it and what I should decorate it with, but I already had all of that in mind and went about with my own plan. Sometimes you just have to do that; take something on as your own and not let others tell you what to do with it. Don't I sound rebellious? I don't mean to really. It's just been a long year of taking care of a lot of people and a lot of things and I was ready for something of my own, something that was "me".
Here's the beauty that you don't see. We all have things in our lives, responsibilities, that we have to take ownership of. That's just the way life is. We don't always get the authority to say exactly how they turn out, but they are still our responsibility to handle, no matter what. I'm a giver. I give and give and give some more and I don't mind, until I become exhausted and have to finally "just say no". Then, I feel guilty. Ridiculous? Yes! Can I help myself? No! I push on. I accommodate. I step aside. I GIVE. I have had to really think about this lately and have come to the conclusion that, while I won't change who I am, I need to change how I am. I can still be a giver, I just need to include myself on the list of recipients!
And thus, the pink tree. Is it for everybody? No. Does that bother me? Nope, not one bit! It's mine, it's me, it's where I want it, how I want it, it isn't hurting anybody and really, nobody in the family really seems to be bothered by it (they've even decided that it's kind of cute!). It's my own little whimsical, silly mark on the world at this moment and I like that. It's my gift to myself and it makes me giggle and smile and very happy. Isn't that what we all need?
Thank you so much for listening to my rambling today. I so appreciate you being here. I'll have more Christmas posts up soon! Take care and have a wonderful weekend! Hugs, Leena