Friday, August 5, 2011

Does Fuzz Have Legs?

I was having a very exciting morning today (notice the sarcasm), folding laundry, doing laundry, hanging up laundry (I despise laundry), as well as cleaning the bathroom and kitchen and tackling more of my garage organization project. Wow, do I know how to live or what? Anyway, as I was putting Jim's shirts on hangers, I noticed a small black thing fall out of a shirt I was removing from the basket. My immediate thought was that it was a spider, then I figured no, it was probably just a piece of fuzz, no biggie. A short while later, it came to my attention that the small piece of fuzz was crawling up my bare leg! I slapped my leg and it was gone (the walking fuzz, not my leg. I didn't hit it THAT hard) so then the panic of "where did it go?" started. I ultimately decided that I must have scared it more than it scared me and it was probably on its way to the next county by then. It made me recall a similar experience that still gives me the heebie jeebies.

Several years ago, we lived in a townhouse with a deck that faced the woods. One peaceful spring morning, I was enjoying the weather on the deck, while reading my new plant encyclopedia which I had just received for my birthday. Several times, I had felt a little tingle along my upper back, but just wriggled a bit and it stopped, so I continued reading, admiring the beautiful pictures of all kinds of plants and day dreaming about creating these gorgeous, award-winning flower and plant beds in or small yard. Unbeknownst to me, it was behind me, lurking, waiting for the proper moment to launch its attack. Suddenly, without warning, I saw them; several long, hairy, icky spider legs making their way over my right shoulder. What happened next was driven by pure fear. I screamed, threw my book into the air, smacked my shoulder several times, tore off my shirt, threw it on the ground and stomped all over it, then ran into the house, where I took off my pants and stomped on them as well, checked inside my bra, just in case he was hiding out in there, all the while squirming and shrieking. Then, it struck me; what if it's in my hair? I just about beat myself senseless smacking my hair and head while my dogs did the "we have no idea what's going on but we're going to run around and panic too" dance. Finally, I was convinced that the giant attack spider was gone. I am quite serious when I say giant. I'd seen him out there before. He had a body the size of an olive! I think they're called wood spiders. Whatever its name, I "wood" have preferred him to leave me alone.

I understand that spiders are an important member of the outdoor critter squad, eating bugs that are harmful to plants and I don't have a problem with that. I just don't like them in my house or on any part of my body! Have you ever watched "Fear Factor" when they put a contestant in a glass box then cover them with all these tarantulas? The idea is that you have to stay in that box for a certain amount of time. I'd have no trouble making the time criteria because shortly after I wet myself, I'd be unconscious! "Wake her up, she won". Spiders are one of the few things that scare the bajeebas outta me, whatever those are.

So, I guess I shouldn't complain about a boring day considering that it can become really exciting in the wrong way, really quickly! Have a good one and beware of fuzz with legs! ~Leena~

4 comments:

  1. OMG! That's hilarious! I too have avid arachnophobia. And, though I laugh now, if it happened to me, I'D be over the deck into the next county! I am so happy to hear that you survived to tell us about it. It truly is a jungle out there! Take care Mon Ami ~ Chelle

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  2. Merci! It was a pretty funny experience, once I caught my breath and my heart stopped beating so fast! Hugs, Leena

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